Birth Sabotage and True Midwifery
Are you nurturing or interrupting the power of women?
I was recently blessed with the immense honour and privilege of supporting a mother whose birth extended over four days. For four days, she had no “sleep” in the way that most of us would define it as at least a few consecutive hours of deep rest, and yet the room was so calm and the people present with her so full of love and tenderness that she was able to sink into that preternatural repose between sensations that is biologically designed to reinstall the determination of every birthing woman, and to ensure that she can allow the next wave to wash over her, restored.
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Sure enough, even after several days of intensity, with the quiet, loving encouragement of her beloved family, this mother and her baby did indeed muster the courage and power to give birth triumphantly, without any interference whatsoever.
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I have been involved in birth-work for over 20 years, and I’m the mother of 10 children of my own. I was also born in 1981, which means I find myself among the last generation of individuals who remember life before and after the internet.
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Obviously, every culture and sub-culture has been impacted and shaped by our increasing cyborgicity. The degree to which we elect to intertwine our lives with machines, and arguably to make ourselves interdependent with, if not dependent *on* machines only increases exponentially, for better or worse. I feel very ambivalent about this (most of us do), which is one of the many reasons why I love birth and birth-work so deeply.
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Despite the encroaching biodigital convergence, matrescence, our initiation into motherhood through the kind of birth that I choose for myself and my own children (and the kind of birth I support and facilitate for other women), is still so very human. (And of course, this is precisely why there is such a concerted effort to villainize and criminalize spontaneous birth and that small minority of mothers and sovereign midwives who stand for it).
The birth-world—the political world of birth professionalism—is a central force in that project of the subversion of birth and the demoralization of birthing women, and the onslaught occurs on many fronts. It has been fascinating for me to witness the conversations that take place within homebirth and midwifery discussion groups online, of which I have been a keen observer for at least the past 10 years, as social media has evolved. Granted, I was kicked out of quite a few of those spaces over the years for my insubordination (ha), but I remain in enough of them still, to continue to follow the trends, and it’s fascinating to note just how predictable, recursive, and medically-oriented so many cultural attitudes about birth (especially among midwives) remain.
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There is something very troubled about the state of midwifery today when it’s not just common but considered normal for midwives to suggest to a birthing women that she take narotics to get some sleep. The practice of industrial midwives (which includes most forms of midwifery that are considered to be “holistic” or “traditional”) that sees midwives suggesting to their clients that they take bendaryl, sleeping pills, or even alcohol during a long birth for “relief” is widespread. The fact is that sometimes birth takes what can seem like a long time—the birth process can often extend over several days.
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Yes, birth can be exhausting, it can feel overwhelming, it can feel scary at times. But instead of drugging and sedating women with toxic substances (which of course, is a strategy that comes directly from the medical paradigm) it is a midwife’s duty, I believe, to mirror to the mother her power, her strength, her internal potency and spiritual stamina, and to remind the mother, that *especially* during the birth process, we have the ability to generate energy from within.
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During the holy pause between each sensation—even if that’s only a few seconds—we have the capacity to reset, to reorient ourselves to surrender, and to summon those deep reserves of courage and fortitude that every woman has within her to bring her baby forth.
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Before heading out to support the mother whose birth I recently witnessed, I had shared some of my thoughts on the practice of giving women Benadryl on social media. Right after I posted my reel, I received the call, and I was offline for the subsequent few days.
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When I finally went home after her birth and checked my phone, I saw a torrent of comments and DMs from mothers who shared their stories of having been drugged by their midwives, and it struck me again just how distorted birth—and midwifery specifically—has become.
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This is not about hating or shaming midwives. I know well that all birth attendants have the very best intentions, which is precisely why the state of midwifery today is such a heartbreak to me.
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True midwifery is not about technique, or prescription, or the right castor oil formula for so-called “natural induction” (which is an oxymoron), or how to use a doppler.
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True midwifery is honouring our sensitivity, our discernment, our own self-discipline, our ability to read other people, to read a room, to know ourselves, to know when not to speak, and what to say when the word is the most potent medicine.
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True midwifery is learning how to love ourselves so that we can love each other in the spirit of devoted service.
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True midwifery is knowing the always-unique, yet perfectly patterned time-signature of birth.
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True midwifery is knowing what it *sounds* like and how the energy in the room shifts when a mother’s cervix is fully open—without ever having to touch, probe, insert, or violate her body.
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True midwifery is standing back, and offering only quiet presence while a baby crowns and the mother reaches down to receive him as she breathes his body through her sacred portal and into the world.
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True midwifery is abstaining from claiming any part of a woman’s birth as your own, and instead, continuously reminding the mother that the power, authority, and knowing is hers.
Come and learn the art and practice of true midwifery with me and Emilee Saldaya. The MatriBirth Midwifery Institute—a full year immersive experience—and the only midwifery school that fuses independent midwifery, holistic health & healing, a full childbirth education curriculum, birth-coaching and trauma debrief training, and a transformational self-mastery program, all in the context of a high-level business catalyst. (Classes start in September, and enrollment closes on August 31st. Payment plans available.)
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Our world is ready for more women serving and supporting other women through pregnancy, birth, and beyond in true integrity. Come join us. Any woman who feels the calling is welcome, no previous experience required.
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If you have any questions at all that you want to ask before devoting yourself to this program, and the path of sovereign midwifery, please don’t hesitate to reach out at support@yolandenorris-clark.com. My team and I are here to make sure you have what you need to take this next step. <3