Embracing the Matrix
An excerpt from my upcoming book, "Portal: The Art of Choosing Orgasmic, Pain-Free, Blissful Birth"
Hello to you all.
I wanted to offer a personal note here, given my long-absence. As some of you may know, I have been deep in the deep end of the writing process for the past several months now (ahem, years), and I am just at the tail end of editing my first book, “Portal: The Art of Choosing Orgasmic, Pain-Free, Blissful Birth” which will be released in the coming weeks. Finally. (Honestly, I’ve never done anything more challenging in my life. I’m proud, and terrified. And I’m still not *quite* done…)
I want to thank those of you who have stuck with me here on Substack throughout this time—I know my presence here as been erratic at best—and thanks especially those of you who have maintained your patronage. I appreciate it immensely, and as a show of gratitude, I will be offering all my paid subscribers the opportunity to buy a signed copy of my book for $20. (I will be selling it on Amazon—I know, I know—and eventually through audible, but I thought it might be special for some of you to receive one fresh from the presses, with a little note from yours truly.)
And yes! If this is interesting to you and you have considered becoming a paid subscriber, now would be the perfect time. I will be sending out a special note to all patrons as soon as the book is available to be sent out.
And…following is an excerpt from a section of “Portal,” which is part philosophical treatise, part memoir, part guide to birth as a gateway to ecstasy and God.
I can also promise that once the book is released, I will be present here much more regularly—I really look forward to it.
Embracing the Matrix
You may have noticed the term “matrix” being frequently bandied about in recent years, sometimes almost glibly, and in other instances with a ponderous pseudo-spiritual sense of doom to signify the contorted morass of post-industrial reality, or unreality. I continuously hear people referring to “breaking the matrix,” or “exiting the matrix,” or acting as a “glitch in the matrix,” as a way of describing the experience of being awakened to the dynamics of domination and control.
And I’m all for that awakening.
But in fact, “matrix,” from the Old French “matrice,” means womb.
The Latin derivation suggests the word “matrix” also signifies source, origin, and mother. Other interpretations include “the place of beginning,” and the “enclosure.”
It is significant, I think, that the introduction of the term “matrix" into popular culture and consciousness came via the Wachowski siblings, Lilly and Lana, who wrote and directed the four-part movie series, “The Matrix,” and who have described the central theme of those films as a metaphor for the so-called gender transition that both siblings underwent in the years following the release of the first installment of their now-iconic franchise.
This, in itself, given the current social dynamics and climate, world events, and the rapidly approaching convergence between reproduction, technology, artificial [supposed] intelligence, and transhumanism, is quite stunningly emblematic, not to mention conflicting.
And yet as I see it, The Matrix—the veritable matrix—is not the venal, technocratic unreality that lures us into the mire of artificiality, dependency, despondency, and resistance to life and its unfolding as the term has come to be used today.
The Matrix is, instead, the primal place of origin; the source of all.
Matrix is the mother, the father, the child, and all the holy trinities, lattices, and holographic networks that keep us forever connected to God, through the instrument of our bodies, minds, and souls in concert.
The Matrix is the womb, the dawn of life.
Birth is the original matrix.
The earth is our matrix.
Woman is the beginning, the first terrain, steward of the earth, mother to us all, created, as I know it, by the word of God.
We, mothers, are the matrix embodied.
That so many truth-seekers invoke the term “matrix” to denote the illusion, the fragmentation, and the falsification of nature, is significant.
Words are a form of spellcasting, of bringing the notional and the possible into the realm of the material.
To misappropriate the word “matrix” to signify the murk and muck of technocracy, is, I think, to carelessly participate in the very contrapositioning of dignity and righteousness that is at the heart of the desecration of birth, and life itself.
We don’t need to leave the matrix, we need to re-enter it.
Reacquaint ourselves with it.
Learn to dwell in it once again.
Glad you're back here!
My dad is a geologist so I grew up with that use of the word too, which I like. The context. What envelops. But also what's unseen, unacknowledged or a mere given? Something else specific and interesting, in a matrix of often more common material. The heart of mothering to me is the everyday, the common -- so essential that it's hard to see.
Looking forward to the book! I am new to this community and so exhilarated to read and hear truths being held by all that I have felt buried in my bones. Thank you for all your work! I am looking forward to diving into the archives!