When my womb fell into my vagina one morning a few days after my third baby was born I remember feeling light-headed.
The shock of my own decrepitude as a still-young woman (27) was disorienting.
And the inexorable truth of it was enraging.
What does it mean when a woman falls apart?
What is the significance, symbolically, conceptually, and physically, when our bodies cave in?
When our sexual organs fall through, or parts of ourselves just…slip away, we are, inevitably, undermined and diminished.
Erosion is terrifying.
Prolapse is a latin word which came into use in the 1800s as a medical term, and which means to slide forward or down, denoting a kind of deterioration.
Prolapsian according to the dictionary of etymology, is theological and refers to “falling into sin”.
Lapse, on its own, indicates a transgression, or a forfeiture.
Forgetting one’s place; a decline of some kind.
There is a sense of profound infringement and violation, as a woman, when our very core gives way.
Indeed, one of the underlying messages we can receive from any kind of prolapse of the pelvic lattice—the term I like to use for that basket of nerves, sinew, muscle, and fascia that keeps our most intimate selves, cells, and memories held, and in their rightful place—is that we have sustained a breach.
It takes both strength and deliberation to maintain the spaciousness of the void of our womb space (thank you to Anjelica, of @nymphprayer on Instagram for seeding this concept).
Most women are more familiar (and therefore more comfortable) with what it is to either be full, or broken.
No woman who has her self in order (her shit together, her life or her power appropriately arranged), experiences prolapse, or haemorrhoids, or the dysfunctional re-configuration of her sexual and reproductive organs.
Every week, I receive messages from women wondering if surgery is the only way.
In my experience, surgery is the only way to have surgery.
Healing is another story.
The healing of my own pelvic lattice began with the following questions:
Where have I consented to my own deactivation?
What am I afraid of creating?
Do I want to heal?
Am I willing to heal?
How do I deny myself love?
What is it about how I engage with the world that has manifested this?
I’m leading an upcoming workshop in my private membership for women, The Bauhauswife Birth Circle, on Tuesday, March 28th on my experiences in, and insights into Healing the Pelvic Lattice.