How to Be a Grown-Ass Woman

18 Primary Signs That You're Committed to Flourishing

The 18 primary signs that a woman is secure, mature, confident, inspired, grounded, devoted, success-oriented, self-aware, living in integrity and congruity, and operating from a state of rightful and authentic self-love, on the path to claiming true abundance: 

1. She knows (and lives) the distinction between critiquing individuals vs. critiquing coercive corporate, institutional, and state power. 

2. She does not collude with, uphold, or hide behind false authority (if she does, however, collaborate to any extent with the forces of institutional domination, she owns it). 

3. She knows (and lives) the difference between whistle-blowing vs. gossip, slander, and cancel-culture rooted in envy and victim-consciousness. 

4. She never publicly speaks ill of other individual women or men or their work. 

5. She knows what team she’s on, who she answers to, and she disavows horizontal hostility. 

6. She does not weaponize the language of psychology, feminism, or “empowerment” to strip down or villainize individual women. 

7. She creates from her embodied, lived experience rather than plagiarizing, copying, or mimicking others. 

8. She fears neither being hated by those who are jealous of her, nor being superficially (and temporarily) adored by those who mistakenly idolize her.

9. She maintains appropriate energetic boundaries as she navigates her public and private relationships. 

10. She is devoted to becoming continuously more aware of the ways that she may covertly play the victim. 

11. She is committed to owning her mistakes, uncovering her blind-spots, seeing and healing her hypocrisies, and repudiating delusion.

12. She speaks truth to false authority and to those who represent and uphold the values of coercive control.

13. She knows her value, and she is willing to be compensated generously in reciprocity for the value she knows she brings to the world. 

14. She knows that money is simply a way of holding the energetic exchange, and she nurtures and welcomes the flow of money into her life and into the lives of others in full realization that the more money she makes, the more her work can reach and benefit the people around her who appreciate what she offers. 

15. She understands the distinction between authentic power and domination, and continuously reorients to the former.

16. She celebrates the financial and professional successes of other women and men.

17. She recognizes poverty fetishism and the romance of suffering as simply an expression of fear, ego, self-sabotage, and victimhood, and is willing to set that aside to serve the world in full devotion. 

18. She knows what sovereignty and liberation looks like, feels like, how it works, and what it isn’t.

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• Join me and Emilee Saldaya for a FREE online workshop on Jealousy, Self-Sabotage, and Professional Dynamics in Birth-Work, Thursday, August 24th, at 10am PST—REGISTER HERE.

• Enrol in the Radical Birth Keeper School—Classes Start September.

• Join The Bauhauswife Birth Circle, my private community for women.