The (Attempted) Martyrdom of Gloria Lemay
Midwifery is Dead. Long Live Birth Sovereignty
On January 7th, traditional birth attendant Gloria Lemay was arrested and charged with manslaughter on Vancouver Island.
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I met Gloria in the year 2000 when I was 19 years old, and pregnant with my first child. She attended the birth of my first baby, and my second baby.
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Gloria is one the most inspiring midwifery teachers—and people—on the planet. I consider her to be one of my primary mentors, and a dear friend. She has been immensely supportive to me over the years, especially when I was beginning my own career in birth-work.
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I loved Gloria from the moment she welcomed me into her sunny South Granville apartment. Her wisdom, her respect, her love for birth, mothers, and babies, and her steadfast devotion to me as a young pregnant mother altered the course of my life. She introduced me to my power, and to the very idea of self-ownership.
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Throughout my 50-hour long first birth (at almost 44 weeks’ gestation), Gloria sat quietly by my side and mopped my brow while I screamed, wept, begged for mercy, then finally, after 8 hours of pushing, roared my beautiful boy into the world. In doing the nothing that was necessary during my initiation into motherhood, Gloria gave me everything.
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In late July of 2002, fifteen months after my first son’s tempestuous arrival, I stood shoulder-to-shoulder with a crowd of other mothers, fathers, and children outside the Vancouver courthouse in support of Gloria as she was sentenced to five months in jail and twelve months’ probation for supposedly violating a court injunction prohibiting her from practicing midwifery without a license.
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I had travelled with my toddler that morning from the Sunshine Coast across the Georgia Strait on a ferry, and taken two public buses to join over a hundred people in support of this woman who had witnessed and held so many of us during the spiritual transformation of birth that had created our families.
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The atmosphere at Robson Square was celebratory and defiant. We knew exactly what this was.
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It was a witch-hunt.
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And like most witch-hunts, there was no witch—only a woman whose true power and courage represented an immense threat to the repressive, tyrannical cult of medicine.
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During the court proceedings, Gloria was referred to as “incorrigible.” She responded by saying “I hope I am incorrigible. I hope that until the day I die, I fight for women’s freedom to have who they want in their own bedroom to help them give birth to their baby.”
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It was reported that soon after arriving in prison, Gloria was threatened with solitary confinement “after she offered comfort to a pregnant woman” who was serving time alongside her.
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When I spoke with Gloria six months later, after her release, she told me that jail had been a wonderful opportunity to continue right along with the work to which she had committed her life.
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Incorrigible indeed.
I had met Gloria initially through word of mouth, soon after I fired the legal, licensed, midwife that the newly minted BC College of Nurses and Midwives had assigned to me during my first pregnancy. This was only a couple of years after midwifery had “finally” been regulated in my home-province of British Columbia, and as a clueless, broke, naive young mother, I was eager, at first, to take advantage of the “privilege” of socialized healthcare (lol).
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But during my first encounter with the registered midwife, I knew something was off. Her attempts to coerce me into submitting to an ultrasound were unwelcome (to say the least). I had already decided I would not be subjecting any of my pre-born children to non-ionizing sound waves which are known—even within the scientific community—to objectively damage mammalian cells and tissue, yet the midwife seemed deeply uncomfortable with this boundary.
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I quickly realized that the fact that the medical system signed her paycheque meant that she was beholden to the interests and values of that institution, which happened to be in direct conflict with my own values and priorities. This was unacceptable to me (as it would be to any individuated, sovereign woman).
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Furthermore, she seemed timid and terrified. At our second appointment, I brought with me a printed copy of the BC Midwifery Act and her practice guidelines, which I had painstakingly researched and annotated by hand, delineating the hundreds of reasons why I sadly had to let her go. She then confessed that she understood exactly why I was firing her, and that she would have done the same in my position.
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This woman, like so many others, had elected to undergo the hazing process that was now required of all the formerly “independent” midwives in BC who wanted to be “grandmothered” into the new regulated system. These women had been recruited throughout the 1980s and 1990s and successfully indoctrinated to believe that regulation would offer them job security, the protection of the state, and social legitimacy. They had sadly bought the deception that by uniting under the banner of the medical complex they were going to “change the system from the inside,” and “re-humanize birth.”
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This was, of course, a farce. There is no “changing the system from the inside.” Instead, as all the hopeful, tired, deluded midwives who decided to crawl under the obstetric system’s umbrella soon discovered, the system will only contort you, subsume you, and condition you into believing that your collaboration is radicalism, when in fact, you are being used as a puppet and a tool.
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As I have pointed out thousands of times, the industrial obstetric system was never broken. It has been deliberately designed to *break us*. And when I describe the medical industrial complex as a cult (and obstetrics as one of its most fundamental cornerstones) this isn’t hyperbole. More explicitly than any other organization, obstetrics and its ceremonial rites of industrial birth exhibit all the hallmarks of a satanic cult ritual (which happens to be the subject of my upcoming book—subscribe here to stay in the loop).
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The regulation of midwifery, and in particular, the slandering of independent traditional birth-attendants, is a back-handed attempt to indirectly dominate birthing women, which, in the end, is in service to the long-term project of controlling population, sentience, and human life entirely. The objective of the state appropriation and medical usurpation of midwifery all over the world is totalitarian control, architected as part of the techno-feudalist movement to homogenize medicine, healthcare, and biology itself.
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This isn’t a new phenomenon—these cycles of institutional crackdowns on birth and birth-work have been playing out for ages. But during the 1980s and 1990s, a new and more subtle disciplinary strategy emerged. Instead of stamping out midwifery completely, the medical cartel would simply assimilate it. This was aided by harnessing the enthusiasm for midwifery and homebirth that had fomented within the counterculture movement, using the iconic Ina May Gaskin to great effect as an advocate for regulation. Thus midwifery was re-branded.
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The new, “official” sanctioned midwifery, was midwifery in name only. In reality, it resembled….wait for it…obstetrics! What a surprise! Many of the independent midwives who had been working in BC (and throughout Canada) prior to regulation acquiesced, and entered into these re-education programs eager to reap the promised benefits of the endorsement and protection of the system, but most of these women were filtered out, intimidated and dismayed by the hoops they were made to jump through, the humiliations they were made to endure, and the disorientation of having to completely re-vamp their practices and perspectives to align with a highly medicalized, bureaucratic, regimented approach to birth.
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A few women, however, held out, and politely declined to comply with the medical commandeering of a sacred vocation which many view as antithetical to state control.
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Gloria Lemay was one of them.
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Gloria saw from the very beginning, that regulation was a trojan horse; a form of ideological subversion. A trap.
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The simple, inarguable truth—and a truth that Gloria saw clearly—is that it is not possible to serve two masters, let alone those whose interests may potentially be in conflict. If a midwife’s “scope or practice” is being dictated (ie: regulated) by any external entity other than the mother herself, whether that’s a medical organization, a state organization or an insurance company—if a midwife has any tether to an institutional framework that could even theoretically have interests that depart from, or are in contradiction to the interests of the mother—then that midwife’s loyalties are divided and compromised.
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Does this matter to most women? Clearly not. If you’re looking for a medicalized birth experience with a near-guarantee that your birth will be sabotaged by unnecessary interference, or you enjoy having random people stick their fingers in your vagina, and/or you have no problem submitting to industrial medical authority, or to continuous invasive digital surveillance, then birth with a regulated midwife might be ideal for you.
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But I didn’t want that as a 20-year old giving birth to my first baby, and I don’t want that now, as an almost-44 year old woman who may indeed become pregnant again with my eleventh child (God willing!).
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Furthermore, as a human being, I have (as does every biological woman on this planet) an intrinsic, God-given right to give birth where, how, and with whom I choose.
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And I chose Gloria Lemay.
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From the very beginning of our relationship, Gloria was utterly transparent with me about her level of formal education in birth and medicine (none), her degrees (none), her status within the system (none), and her life experience (extensive). She spoke to me openly about her prior legal issues, and about the fact that she had indeed been present during two births (at that time, 24 years ago) that had resulted in tragic losses.
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I invited Gloria to my birth with full knowledge of every potential variable, including the possibility of death—my own, and that of my child.
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I chose Gloria because I loved her, and because her values were aligned with mine, and because I trusted her to support my autonomous choice to embrace spontaneous birth and all the risks and rewards that could potentially arise from that choice, in whatever measure. I also saw and felt that she believed me, and believed *in* me, and that she knew that I had the power to give birth to myself and my child (as every woman does).
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I also chose Gloria Lemay precisely because she was unlicensed, unregulated, and totally unaffiliated with the medical industrial complex, the obstetric system, or the BC College of Nurses and Midwives. The latter organization, I wanted nothing to do with ever again, especially given that after I fired the licensed midwife, she reported me to the regulatory college. From that point on, the registrar and director of the BC College of Nurses and Midwives proceeded to harass me with phone calls on a regular basis throughout the duration of my pregnancy, hysterically informing me that by declining regulated midwifery, I was recklessly endangering my child and that I would be going to jail when I ended up with a dead baby.
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How’s that for “informed consent”? “Informed consent,” is, of course, one of the favourite mantras of the midwifery world, but interestingly, it only seems to apply to women who are “consenting” to the correct things.
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Indeed, if “informed choice” or ‘informed consent” were anything but a coercive applied linguistics tactic, there would be no reason to criminalize women who attend each other’s births independently.
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Wouldn’t it be logical for independent birth-work to co-exist alongside regulated midwifery and for women to simply choose who they wanted to attend them during birth, in the spirit of “informed consent”?
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The fact is, though, there is no truly “informed consent” within the system—there are only bounded choices that lead to either approval or punishment. “Informed consent” is double-speak. “Consent” culture within the medical paradigm is a form of psychological warfare.
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The only way “consent” can truly be valid is in the context of a relationship of equal power, or one in which the power lies with the party to whom the procedure or treatment is being offered, in which case, the very idea of “informed consent” is meaningless anyway.
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What those who argue for the prohibition of independent midwifery don’t seem to realize (or don’t care about), is that they are necessarily contradicting the doctrine of informed consent.
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Thankfully, I was not subjected to a single stilted, condescending conversation with Gloria Lemay about “informed consent.” Why? Because I was, and am the only authority over my body, my baby, and my birth. And from my first encounter with Gloria, and every encounter since, my authority as The Mother was honoured and implicit. As such, I had no need to “consent” to anything.
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Leaders and authorities do not “consent.” We decree and decide. The invitation to “consent” is a commandment to submit to a limited array of choices that have been pre-ordained. Consent is a totally meaningless concept in a system in which force and coercion have been normalized.
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Within the regulated midwifery system, midwives operate according to a hierarchical structure in which they are subordinate to obstetricians and hospital administrators, and subject to the rigid standard protocols of their “scope.” If they fail to engineer compliance from their patients, they may face disciplinary measures themselves, which creates an often unconscious dynamic of tenuous and inferred incentivization and self-governance.
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This is at the very crux of it all. The regulation of birth goes hand-in-hand with the suppression of the inherent, natural rights that every human being has to *life.* Birth is the most rudimentary expression of our biology, but it’s also the most powerful and transformative spiritual journey available to us as human beings (which is the subject of my bestselling book, PORTAL: The Art of Choosing Orgasmic, Pain-Free, Blissful Birth).
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The very idea of regulating birth is an example of perhaps the most dangerous, most morally repugnant violation of natural law and of our sacred connection to source that has yet to be conceived (ha). And exponential numbers of women (and men) are waking up to this profound truth.
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This is precisely why Gloria Lemay has so much support.
Yes, I am aware that Gloria was present at five births during which a baby died, and that one of those deaths happened a year ago, according to media reports.
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And I am so very sorry for those families—and for the mothers, especially. As a mother myself, I have only ever experienced loss during my pregnancies (I have had 4 losses before 14 weeks). Those experiences were heartbreaking enough, and yet I know the pain of miscarriage cannot compare to losing a baby at term, or during or after birth.
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I can only imagine the unfathomable grief these families are carrying.
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But what I know, after having worked with thousands of families as they have prepared for birth and processed death and loss at various stages of their children’s lives, in various contexts, is that there is no risk-free option for any of us, ever.
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And as much as this may sound wrong, or unbearable, not one of us deserves, or is guaranteed, a healthy child, or a child who lives to see adulthood.
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Likewise, it simply is not the case that choosing hospital birth can guarantee safety, nor can any midwife (regardless of her training or credentials or lack thereof), or doctor, promise or deliver a particular outcome.
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Sometimes babies die. At home, at birth-centres, and in the hospital. As I wrote in my earlier article “Freebirth and Death: The Shadow Side of Motherhood”, “Every birth experience, no matter the milieu or the situation, whether at home or in the hospital, whether “natural” or highly technologically mediated, could ostensibly result in death.”
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The difference, of course, between a death that occurs at home vs. a death that occurs in the hospital, is that when death is the outcome within the institution, the assumption will almost always be that everyone did everything they could, that the doctors tried their best, and that *thanks to* technology, intervention, and medical attention and expertise, the death was therefore inevitable.
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This is despite the fact that approximately 300,000 people die every year in the US alone from medical error—according, again, to the system’s own statistics. Yet physicians and medical professionals in general, are nonetheless protected by liability insurance, plausible deniability, and moral superiority.
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When a baby dies at home, however, the automatic assumption is almost always be that there was some element of recklessness, irresponsibility, or stupidity involved, and there will be an attempt, at least, to lay blame.
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In the context of freebirth, the mother herself will likely be held culpable.
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But in the case of attended homebirth, the obvious scapegoat is the birth attendant—especially one who is unlicensed, un-registered, and operating outside the system.
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Is it possible that Gloria Lemay has made mistakes? No, it’s not possible. It is a guarantee. Because Gloria is a human being, and we all make mistakes.
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What I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, however, is that Gloria has only ever had the best interests of mothers, babies, and fathers at heart, that her intentions have always been pure, and that she has never lied about who she is.
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I also know that she has attended well over 2500 births. Though life and death are, I maintain, God’s business, my strong suspicion is that there are very few, if any, obstetricians whose statistics could rival hers.
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Yet we don’t tend to read in the legacy media about all the babies who die under the care of obstetricians, or the many many more babies who are tortured, maimed, and traumatized within the walls of the institution (and, sadly, by the hands of well-meaning regulated midwives, which are among the most common stories that are brought to me consistently by mothers in my birth-related trauma coaching practice).
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We also don’t tend to hear about the immense risks to our their families that women take on, when they agree to support their sisters in birth outside the system.
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Gloria’s arrest comes right on the heels my own recent decision to retire indefinitely from in-person birth-witnessing. Luckily, I don’t live in Canada or in the US, and I have always been very careful not to ever break any laws, but I have experienced the sudden turn that can take place, when a birth results in an unfortunate or unexpected outcome.
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One of the rarest, most precious virtues is self-responsibility. But while most of us like to believe that we embrace the value of self-responsibility, true self-responsibility is only ever proven when things fall apart.
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Everyone loves the idea of accountability and true responsibility until the very moment things don’t go our way. Then we scramble to point the finger.
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This impulse to condemn permeates the public social media post written by the father of the baby who died a year ago, during the birth that Gloria apparently attended. I won’t share the text here (it’s readily searchable), but it’s full of rage, conspicuous contradictions and above all, a wholesale abdication of any personal responsibility as a parent.
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This man describes being “victimized” by Gloria Lemay, and his post implies that Gloria maliciously convinced him and his wife to invite her to attend their child’s birth. He also blatantly states that she is responsible for the fact that his child tragically died.